The other day, I went to the grocery store for two things: bread and chicken. That’s it. A surgical strike. In and out.
Then I saw it — diced chicken on sale. Two for $15. Without a second thought, I tossed two packs into my trolley. I didn’t check the price of one pack. I just thought, “Well, I’ll eat the second one eventually.”
Fast forward to the self-checkout. I scanned one pack: $8. Quick maths told me I was only saving a dollar on this “deal.” I waved over the store assistant and said, “I don’t want the second pack anymore.” She nodded, took it off my hands, and I carried on.
But it got me thinking.
How often do we say yes to things without understanding what it’s really costing us? Just like I picked up that second pack without a second thought, we say yes to responsibilities, events, opportunities — even ministry assignments — without asking: Do I have the margin for this? Do I even need this now?
When "Yes" Becomes a Burden
You might be overwhelmed not because you’re weak, but because you’re over-committed. And those commitments didn’t come from God; they came from your inner people-pleaser, your FOMO, or your fear of looking selfish.
You’ve suddenly become a “YES” factory! You’re the mum who says yes to coordinating the school event… again. The team lead who agrees to another task when your plate’s already overflowing. The volunteer who can’t say no because “who else will do it?”
Good intentions. Bad stress… which leads to distress – especially if these yeses are not aligned to what God wants you to do… in that season!
Read the Price Tag Before You Commit
Everything costs something: time, energy, sleep, peace of mind, margin, sometimes even obedience.
Not understanding what it costs you means you’d take a nose-dive and midway, you’d realise that you bit more than a mouthful! And at that point, instead of returning the chicken like I did, you decide to power through it all.
I once enrolled in a full-year program I thought was aligned with my goals… scratch that, it was aligned to my goals… I believed I needed it. It looked good. It felt strategic. But a few weeks in, I realised it was more like a bootcamp – full-on, intense, and completely mismatched with my current season.
The program wasn’t bad. It just wasn’t for now. But guess what? I was super attached and could not let it go! I kept checking the WhatsApp group, and I’d struggle through the activities… because I actually felt it was a stretch that I needed!
I got convicted, and decided to place a huge PAUSE on the program.
It’s Okay to Return the Chicken
Here’s the kicker: I didn’t feel shame returning that chicken. So why do we feel guilt when we try to pull out of a misaligned “yes”?
Let me say it loud for your inner critic: You are allowed to reverse a decision when clarity hits.
Yes, I had brought the chicken to the counter. But when the numbers didn’t make sense, I let it go. You can, too.
Some yeses in life may not be as simple to undo, but you can create an exit plan. A bridge back to alignment. One email. One conversation.
What Worked Then May Not Work Now
Maybe the yes made sense in January, but now it’s end of July and your life looks different.
We keep dragging old commitments into new seasons because we’re afraid of looking inconsistent. But staying in something that no longer fits isn’t loyalty – it’s self-neglect.
Obedience isn’t about sticking to your 6-month plan out of pride; it’s about moving when God says move. It’s the same God who told Moses and the Israelites to “camp” close to the Red sea, and when Moses cried out to Him when the Egyptians were getting closer, He told them “Go forward”. Understand what He is saying to you per-time!
Create an Exit Plan with Wisdom
You don’t need to burn bridges. But you do need to stop burning yourself to keep things running.
Revisit your yeses. Ask:
– Why did I commit to this?
– Is it still aligned with my current season and calling?
– What would it take to transition or delegate this with integrity?
Then decide how you’d communicate. I repeat – you do not need to burn bridges… because heyyyy, what if God tells you to go back again? Maintain the relationship, pray, and let your conversation be seasoned with grace!
Try a Monthly Reset
Don’t wait until “burnout” or December 31st to reassess your life. What if, every month, you gave yourself permission to audit your yeses?
Priorities shift. So should your schedule – because, as you know, we only schedule what’s top priority right?
It’s Not Quitting If You’re Obeying
Obedience sometimes looks like a redirected path. Remember that there were a number of times Paul got redirected on his missionary journey.
We need to remain agile and malleable in the Lord’s hands.
I’ll wrap with this: understand the difference between an opportunity to stretch and distress… if it’s distressful, re-analyse it. Sometimes, you would have to reanalyse both the opportunities for growth and stretch and also the distressing factors. My prayer for you is that you understand the difference and you cut out those weights that you were not meant to carry in the first place!